SUBWAY DOUCHERY : Field Trippin’
Ohhh… oh dear God, no….. it’s a….. FIELD TRIP! I knew the time of elementary school field trips was approaching but you can never fully prepare. How can anyone adequately brace themselves for a huddled mass of adolescents filled with hope and bubble gum? Screaming, shoving, singing, biting, blocking stairways, daisy chaining 30 deep, losing all sense of decorum and only wrangled by a short hand full of over worked/under paid teachers. Although most of these children ride the rails individually on their way into school, the group mentality turns them into a beastly mob! Fueled by the unbridled excitement that comes with going to an uptown museum.
To maneuver around them, you have to be quick on your feet and sharp of mind. As a pack, they will sense hesitation and vulnerability like a shark sensing a drop of blood in ocean waters. And before you know it, you’ll be be amongst them! Plodding along hypnotized by their nonsensical chatter, forgetting where, when, and who you are as you slowly make your way to the train. If you have to buy a MetroCard while the horde has surrounded the ticket machine, you can kiss your ass goodbye!
*** It’s the most wonderful time of the year! This one comes from the Douchery Reserve. Keep on Douchin’ ***